Ok so before I go any further, can I please just say I’m not like that ‘don’t hate me because I’m beautiful’ woman. Although, truth be told, I’d love a slot on Loose Women or This Morning to discuss this further 😉
This is also not a ‘woman vs woman’ post. If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I love the company of other women. I am in awe of other women. I think actually that most non-women are numpties. I’d even go as far as to say that such is my love and appreciation of other women, I’d probably be a lesbian if I didn’t have to clean the fish tank.
So, there we are – those are the disclaimers.
But here’s the thing – I have become increasingly aware of human nature’s way of dealing with aesthetically-challenged people. Now, in my world no one is genuinely UGLY. To paraphrase Roald Dahl, there are no ugly people, only ugly thoughts. BUT there are those of us who like to present ourselves well, those of us who can’t really be bothered to present ourselves well but can scrub up good should the occasion be required (that’s me) and those of us who haven’t been dealt the best hand when it comes to looks and, on top of that, can’t be bothered to make any effort at all.
Recently, I’ve had the great fortune to work alongside somebody who is like the third person I have described. The person is very unhappy. And dresses badly. And doesn’t make the most of themselves. This is the aesthetically-challenged person that prompted me to write this post.
For the sake of argument, let’s call this person HORSE.
Now, HORSE was sad and angry in equal measure. HORSE decided to pick and choose which tasks to complete and which to just leave. HORSE decided who they would and would not take direction from. HORSE decided it was ok to tell people exactly what was on HORSE’s mind. Cue “you’re not really dressed appropriately for the office”, “you are wasting sellotape”, “you are very messy”, “if you leave your stuff on my desk when I’m not here I will throw it in the bin”, “I hate you”, “I didn’t want to leave but you left me no choice”, “I hate you”.
Luckily, HORSE’s comments were rarely directed at me. They were directed at two lovely, kind, hardworking young women who worked alongside me. They were very gracious in their responses. “Sorry HORSE we’ll try not to be so messy”, “thanks so much HORSE for helping to pack some boxes of products to post to people”, “sorry HORSE for using all the sellotape”. On and on they went with their apologies and placations. One evening when the young women and I were still at work past 8pm we had a conversation about HORSE. The young women said they found the things HORSE said to be rude but funny. They were able to laugh off the little digs and taunts from HORSE. I was pleased by this. Their self-esteem was such that they weren’t going to be knocked by someone evidently so unhappy with their lot. So I asked them this; “If HORSE was three stone lighter, wore nicer clothes, better shoes and had a good hair cut would you still think the way HORSE speaks to you is acceptable?” “Ohmigod no WAY”, the young women said. “Omigod that’s, like, SO true. No, I totally wouldn’t. I’d tell HORSE to go f*** themselves”. “Precisely”, I said – feeling very wise and old.
“Why is it ok for someone aesthetically challenged to be an arsehole when, if someone aesthetically blessed said the same thing, you’d actually call them out on it?”
Think about it. We all know those people (men and women) who – because they feel crap about themselves – go OUT OF THEIR WAY to try and expose your ‘stupidity’ and put you down as much as possible whilst simultaneously being clever know-it-all dicks. Yep, you know EXACTLY the person I’m talking about. The person who hates good looking people, the person who hates average looking people, the person who wants to TAKE YOU DOWN whenever possible. The person who actually has so little self-esteem that they don’t really realise their actions could cause harm (luckily, because I sussed out this affliction early on I am able to immediately identify and empathise with such people and therefore am rarely caught out by them….. I think it’s because I’m non-white).
Do I sound like a bitch? Probably. But ask yourself why.
Thank you and goodnight.